New guiding words - Adjust and Rest

Not feeling my best as I share this, it was written a week ago; need to listen and feel the power of those words.

It was mid-week, when the call came through that volunteers were needed for parkrun and seeing that the 'tail walker” role was open, so I immediately signed up.  I knew I couldn’t run as I didn’t have the energy, but I could give walk and give back to the parkrun that has helped me personally and supported the integration of  5kyourway into MY parkrun at Beverley Westwood.  I remember meeting the tail walkers on my first ‘parkrun’ in August 2022 and they were so supportive to me in those first few weeks as a newbie. 

It was whilst walking as a ‘tail walker’ last week, that I realised, I needed to learn to adjust.  Being the tail walker, I saw parkrun from a completely different perspective, seeing the curl of the park runners and walkers extending over the Westwood was a sight to behold, but also understanding how the tail walkers are an integral part of parkrun, being in regular communications with the Run Director, as well as the other Marshall’s along the route. Walking behind the others as a tail walker, I knew I wasn’t at my best, but this helped me to come to terms with the reality of now, that I had to adjust and that this needed to be my guiding word and mantra for the weekend. 

It had been a tough weekend, 5 days since my last chemotherapy for the second week in a row and I did say at the start, I needed to take the time to rest and listen to my body as I started this new regime.  Then it hit me, I needed to adjust to this new chapter in my life.   Ok so I couldn’t run for now, but I will be back!!   My approach has always been, OK, so what can I do? and the reality hit me again, I needed to learn to rest.  Rest matters and is essential for the mind, body and soul and I know I wasn’t good at it and need to return to review my rest prescription, something that

Suzy Reading

talks about. Currently trying to review mine now

Writing this, what I am realising is that words matter to me.  I understand the power of words, after someone said to me, (when asking about my proposed surgery) ‘if you are viable’, imagine that! Words have the power to inspire and lift us, or to cause real harm. These can be words we hear from ourselves, but also those we hear from others and can affect our mental health and wellbeing.  The words adjust and rest helped me over the weekend and the subsequent week ahead, as I learnt not to be hard on myself. 

I have words that surround me in my craft room, words that lift me on my not so good days or when I’m having a wobble.  I describe a wobble as when I’m feeling emotional when the tears just come, sometimes for no apparent reason, but like a Weeble (only people of a certain age will understand this, ‘Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down’. 

It was whilst having a wobble, that I started to explore the many things that helped me, there was so many things, and this evolved into both a digital story with Macmillan and a Substack piece on ‘Outing the wobbles’  It was one Sunday morning, thinking about the things that helped me during a wobble, were the very same things that were helping me to live a fulfilled life after the diagnosis and there it was again words, words that remind me to think differently and look at the things I can do.  The idea of an A to Z was born.

Prior to my diagnosis I was a private person but sharing my story is now important to me, so I started to do vlogs whilst I was out walking on Instagram as @walk.ntalk2021 It was whilst sharing these posts, my A to Z that I realised, these are the many things that we all could do to live our best lives, with or without a cancer diagnosis, things that I didn’t do well, before my diagnosis.  It was a friend who was having a tough time, who mentioned how my vlogs had helped her to think and act differently. 

Know the Power of Words - What’s that saying, ‘from bad comes good’, someone saying to me ‘if you are viable’ led me to share my story with student nurses at my local university and then my story has been written into a play by Libby Pearson author of The Purple list. The play was presented at a cancer conference last year, it was emotional and because of the amazing feedback has been turned into a film, produced by @inkblotfilms; KPOW - Know the Power of Words, utterly unbelievable but I am so proud, words matter.  This is to have its premiere at Hull Truck Theatre for professionals working in cancer services in July.  This is going to be an emotional day, not that I’m a person who wears much make-up, but definitely no mascara for me that day!

Writing down the words of the A to Z, I saw the power in bringing together the words to develop art.  One afternoon, I sat with brown paper, coloured pens, glue and an old canvas of my husbands, and stuck the words together.  This is my first attempt which in sewing terms is known as a toile.  I’m currently evolving this with coloured card and pens.  I would love to see these words, start conversations about our mental health, for with people like me living life after a cancer diagnosis and or the general population, being able to add other words and talk about the things that help. 

A few weeks ago,

Juliet Thomas

came over to see me and as you can imagine we talked about so many things…….the A to Z is evolving further, from East Yorkshire to West Yorkshire…….watch this space.  

Not feeling my best as I finalise this, and am resting big style having a morning of doing nothing, (but clearly not ) reading a year of doing nothing by

Emma Gannon